“We live in a world where lemonade is made from aritificial flavoring and furniture polish is made from real lemons.” ~MAD Magazine

So...

When life gives you lemons....

Gettin' my ducks in a row...

Well...

Isn't it odd, that no matter where you happen to be at the moment, something catches your eye.  You could be at a stop light, walking through the cemetery at sunrise - or all caught up in your "business".

Ya never know...

Don't be so consumed with "things"...live a little.

Procrastinators Unite!! Tomorrow!

So...

Okay, children, listen and learn.  I am speaking from my YEARS of experience here...you would do well to heed my warnings.

Today, we are going to talk about car maintenance.  Yeah, yeah, I'm a girl...what do I know?  Well...I can change a tire, change my oil, change my spark plugs - I've helped tear down and rebuild a motor, bled brake lines - I've even replaced a clutch cable on my '72 VW Beetle by myself (I did LOTS of stuff by myself on the engine of that car - but, to be honest, it's kinda like a Lego engine).

But, as I have grown older, I have no desire whatsoever to do any of that crap myself anymore.  I'm OLD and LAZY and I don't like to get dirty.

Even though I no longer choose to do it myself, I still understand completely how and why everything works.  Like disc brakes.  (Another thing I helped Pappy replace - many, MANY moons ago.)

Let's look at a couple of photos I swiped off of the Google:

This one is a cool cut-away of what a vented rotor looks like....see the vanes?  Those are for ventilation for the heat generated when you apply the brakes.

When the brake pedal is applied, pressurized hydraulic fluid squeezes the brake pad friction material against the surface of the rotating brake disc. The result of this contact produces friction which enables the vehicle to slow down or stop.

Look how thick the vanes actually are from this cool photo...

Well...when the brake pads are getting a little worn, you can generally hear a little scratching or grinding noise when you apply the brakes.  This is a built-in warning sign that it is time to get your brake pads replaced.  

BUT, when you are as lazy-assed as I am, you ignore this noise and tell yourself - every time you "gently" tap your brakes - "Next paycheck."  Even when you now have to put the car into neutral and coast up to the stop light - and you PRAY no one stops suddenly in front of you - you still say, "Maybe tomorrow."  

I still remember the exact moment I realized "TODAY IS THE DAY!!"  It was when I was doing that in neutral coast-y thing up to the stop light on the AA Hwy in Wilder, by McDonald's, and my brake pedal hit the floor.  

Holy shit, that was a "Come to Jesus" moment.  

Thankfully, I was able to limp home and get it to a mechanic.

This is the aftermath of my rotor - all artsy-fartsy like...

Hmm...I've never seen the inside of one of those...and the broken caliper had cut the brake line causing all of the fluid to leak out...whoops.

Maybe, next time I won't wait as long.  Thankfully, the guy only charged me about 1/4 of what I would have paid at a regular garage.

(That baby is cast iron!!  Doh!!)

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.” ~Alphonse Karr

Well...

I seem to have an abundance of floral photos - yet again.  At this point, that doesn't really bother me.  Of course, it didn't bother me before (during my academic stint), but I hardly ever shared those photos during class time (due to my "trite-ness").  I worked at a wholesale florist for 9 years, so I had ample opportunity to shoot photos of absolutely gorgeous flowers from across the globe.  And if you ever think about it, observe the absolute beauty of a flower.  Consider the fact that the perfection emerges from a tiny seed, or bulb, or rhizome, or cutting. 

How does it know how to do that??

That's too deep of a question to attempt at this hour of the night...

Roses are my all-time favorite.  I've seen photos from the growing farms in South America.  Holy crap.  I would love to visit there!  (Aside from the whole drug cartel thingy...)  For now, I'll just pause, take in their beauty and share my (well - one of them) obsession.

A Red, Red Rose

By Robert Burns

 

O my Luve is like a red, red rose

   That’s newly sprung in June;

O my Luve is like the melody

   That’s sweetly played in tune.

So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,

   So deep in luve am I;

And I will luve thee still, my dear,

   Till a’ the seas gang dry.

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,

   And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;

I will love thee still, my dear,

   While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only luve!

   And fare thee weel awhile!

And I will come again, my luve,

   Though it were ten thousand mile.

 

.

“I dreamt of you last night - as if I was playing the piano and you were turning the pages for me.” ~Vladimir Nabokov

Ok....

My CPR Certification card was expiring at the end of last month and I had to schedule my refresher course, which is provided by someone at the local office.  I lucked out (this time) because of two things: 

1. The instructor didn't make my sorry butt get on the floor (I guess he took one look and decided it wasn't worth calling the Fire Department to get me back up...).

2. The office has now relocated to the "new" Baldwin Building by Eden Park - instead of way up past Tri-County Mall.

And in the foyer of the "new" Baldwin Building??  A Grand Piano!!  Too cool! 

Of course, Chuck was BEGGING to take some photos - after I asked permission from the Security Officer.

So....Piano guts...

“There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into sun” ~Pablo Picasso

So....

This is what happens when you are REALLY bored at work...and your poor creative brain is in peril of atrophying. 

No prop stands?  No problem = Lysol Wipes canister
No seamless?  No problem = Filthy white walls and 15 minutes removing spots in Lightroom
No lighting?  No problem = Overhead fluorescent tubes
No tripod?  No problem = Kleenex box - stacked on a pile of binders
No "after" photo?  No problem = Go fish the core out of the garbage

Voilà!! 

I'm a freaking GENIUS!!

I can't wait to get my new MacBook....things will run much smoother.

“We can always redeem the man who aspires and strives.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

So...

Sue me. 

Or....Bless me Father, for I have sinned...it's been @#!$% days since my last post....

I have excuses galore, but let's just go with "I'm a lazy-ass".  (Hit the nail right on the head.)  And because of my laziness, I had a mere 409 photos to edit - down to 84.  And to add to the lazy-stravaganza, I only processed 5 of them.  (My MacBook is so outdated and slow, my it takes me, on average, 10 minutes just to get it to recognize my external hard drive.  Yeah, that makes me a smidge frustrated.)

Okay, well...here is the BEVY of photos from tonight's ministrations.  Voila.

Then there is this thing...I swear they sit around just WAITING for me to get home in the morning.  "Coo Coo, Toodles."  Creepy-ass flying rats with the little black beady eyes....

I have also decided to go through my photos and make a folder of all of my tree pics so I can maybe make another Blurb book.  There are 16k plus photos on the external I carry with me...and 165 of those are trees.  I have total somewhere in the vicinity of 66,000 photos...

Yeah.  Well, I found several photos I forgot about and thought were pretty cool.  I doubt if I've posted these here before...they were from before I started this blog. 

Oh well....I liked them.  Enjoy.