The Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day...

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” 

~Dr. Seuss

Merry Christmas!!

“Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.”

Ok then...

This is what happens when you leave me in the back of the car and run into the store for 10 minutes.  Literally, 10 minutes.

I was tired, crabby and didn't feel well...so I stayed outside and made some pictures.

This is what I saw...

Chuck and I were gettin' busy!!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chritstmas.....

Hey...

Oops!!  Sorry guys!

We seem to have a small problem with vandals "molesting" our deer...every year! 

Philistines...

Well...I just wanted to post this gem so that I can get back to processing all of the photos that I HAVEN'T been posting...

Good evening.

"While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions."

So....

You know what they say about hindsight.

I just want to make a formal statement here and it is VERY important that it is said.  Right now, because it is years and years past due.

I should have fought harder. 

Tooth and nail.  Damn the torpedoes and all that.  I listened to someone whom I knew had their own agenda.  It's pure crap for me to hide behind that excuse because this person is no longer here to confront.

I am more sorry than you could ever imagine.  Sorry to you - and sorry to me. 

I will spend the rest of my life with this one regret.  It is the ONLY thing I would change, if it were possible.

So...the moral is...if you want something - anything - with your whole soul...move heaven and hell to get it....and never let go.

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?" ~Sheryl Sandberg

Holy. Crap.

Just saw that above quote.  I think I may make this my new mantra.  Just think of the possibilities.

Grab life by the balls and go....just go. 

I am a little terrified (okay...maybe a lot) of being 51 and just now looking to begin a career.  A REAL career...something I will enjoy, something at which I will excel...not a Security Officer for the rest of my life.  Oh, I know I was late to the table, but I shouldn't be penalized for putting my girls first and then deciding to make something of myself.  I was 43 when I started college, older than my classmates and older than most of my professors.  I went in there thinking I was "the shit". 

Oh my...reality sure slapped me up against the head...quickly.  But, I prevailed.  I have the college diploma I secretly coveted for 30 years.  (I'm one class away from that elusive 2nd one, too.)  Now, it seems I have hit a roadblock.  I want to find a position in a museum or gallery setting.  Problem is, you need at least 2 years experience...but to get that experience you need to find a job to earn those 2 years. 

Dog Eat Dog - Catch 22.

If I wasn't actually so afraid, I would get in my car and just go.  Drive aimlessly until I ended up somewhere - anywhere.  No responsibilities, no one to which I need to report.  How cool would that be?  But, honestly, nearly impossible for me to achieve.  I am way too ingrained in my sense of responsibility.  Wouldn't it be awesome to take 3 months off from life?  See the country?  Take photos of places I have only read about in books?  Network?

Alas, I am a chicken, a coward, hiding behind the "what ifs".  I was recently knocked down a peg or two.  Took a (not so) small hit in my pocket-book.  I have that excuse to hide behind now.

Justification.

This is what I genuinely need - crave.  I want to be "somebody".  Have a real purpose.  I don't want to die not knowing my full potential.  I think this may be the biggest reason I hated graduating college.  At school you have hope, friends and professors rallying around you, shoring up your resolve.  The real world?  Not so much.

So, maybe I need to practice not being afraid.  Just go for it.